Into this world, this demented inn, in which there is absolutely no room for him at all, Christ has come uninvited. But because he cannot be at home in it–because he is out of place in it, and yet must be in it–his place is with those others who do not belong, who are rejected because they are regarded as weak; and with those who are discredited, who are denied the status of persons, and are tortured, exterminated. With those for whom there is no room, Christ is present in this world.

–Thomas Merton, in Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas (p. 278)

Since writing my last post (here), I’ve been struggling with the impulse to include some additional examples to make clear what “lens” has shaped my experience. I’m worried that, to some, God’s judgement could seem to bolster the propaganda of powerful politicians like Donald Trump (who promises to deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and build a “permanent border wall” between the US and Mexico). Will those same folks then try to reconcile their anti-immigrant nationalism with seeking God’s kingdom!?! Given this possibility, one that frustrates me to no end, I think we need an honest story about Jesus’ kingdom in order to give this subject of God’s judgement some actual grounding. 

So, I’ve been dialoguing with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. a great deal these last few months. He is a great example, in general, but maybe especially for us Christian evangelicals who often swim in the waters of privilege. Whereas a White Christian community may simply suppress a voice like Dr. King’s, others who embrace social justice often have serious doubts about (or have even given up on) Dr. King’s call for nonviolence. It’s naive, they might point out. It encourages submission in the face of ongoing destruction of black and brown bodies. It’s too focused on the world hereafter, not relevant to the struggles of folks who face real threats. While evangelicals seem to ignore Dr. King’s call to nonviolence, activists seem to deconstruct it. This is not new. Like I said before, speaking about God’s judgement is a loaded term and, now let us also acknowledge, so is a more modern concept like nonviolence. But these two perspectives are related, in my view. And should get a hearing, at least by followers of Jesus, in the spirit of beloved community.

I’ll let Dr. King speak for himself. He offers six characteristics about liberation and nonviolence:

• [Nonviolent resistance] is active and courageous, not passive and cowardly;
• seeks reconciliation, not victory over;
• distinguishes injustice from persons behaving unjustly;
• requires the willingness to suffer without retaliating;
• rejects physical and spiritual violence (hate, ill-will, humiliation, etc.);
• flows from and is strengthened by the conviction that the universe itself is on the side of justice and truth.

Dr. King penned this list in the midst of oppression and resistance some 50 years ago. But how can his voice help Christians, as well as justice-minded folks in general, flesh out a truly free response in the face of oppression today?

On one level, we’ll simply need more examples of people, like King, who are living (or have lived) in the stunning liberty of God’s kingdom here. It could be folks we know locally–maybe it needs to be. But really anybody who interacts with us (living or deceased) can be that storyteller we need to hear. It will sound like Good News proclaimed in a life.

I remember Dallas Willard recommending somewhere that Christians ought to read the stories of other disciples in order to enliven their imagination. Good stories have the effect of wiping away fear and creating dissonance, especially in a media-saturated age of propaganda. (I might also add, calling on Wendell Berry, that each person ought to know particular stories in order to fulfill Jesus’ command to love your enemy and neighbor.) Our daily rehearsal of bad news and commercials don’t compare at all with Jesus’ hope-filled presence (even in grief) and laughter. Beloved community can be written on our hearts, if we are willing. Yet we must begin with the most sacred story of all: “not my will, but yours be done.”

In Jesus, I see people and even lots of created things desperately in need of judgment. But judgment is a naughty word today, often used to describe a person who has fun lambasting others. And it’s true that Jesus himself preached against human judgment. However, the word judgment as I understand Jesus’ meaning has a brighter and more loving tone. According to Jesus, God will judge justly all that has gone wrong (and continues to go wrong) and will set things aright. Thus, our world can be released into His capable hands. In fact, God’s kingdom is among us even now.

But what does this have to do with us Christians in the 21^st century? It almost sounds like a done deal anyway, like it would happen with or without our part in it. Yet Jesus predicted a significant role for his followers to be his witnesses, his sent ones. So when we first feel drawn by Jesus’ mercy and then we understand all that is asked of us to follow his way of powerlessness on the cross, something subversive tends to happen. We are propelled out. Flung into the harvest, so to speak. Even though we are insulted or injured, even through crazy acts of violence like Jesus suffered. We continue to walk in no holds barred vulnerability, in defiance of oppressors who seem unstoppable, simply because “my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

Jesus taught his disciples to seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness (which is translated justicia in Spanish) and we can intuitively see even today that God’s righteousness and justice are never far apart. They belong together, actively so. The kingdom of God invites us into peace, into reconciliation, into enemy-love, into rest, into dependence like little children, even foolishness, into union with God himself.

We can enter situations where a person of power seems in charge, quite eager to suppress dissent, and yet still proclaim God’s freedom (as God’s child) without shame. This is the Good News we tell without having to talk anyone’s ear off. We simply refuse to retaliate. We put away all bitterness, wrath, slander, anger, malice. We overcome evil with good. We embrace kindness, become tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave us (see Ephesians 4).

God’s judgments have the ridiculous effect of making former enemies into friends and disciples. He does this by weaving together the story of outsiders, nobodies, strangers and undocumented “illegals.” Jesus crossed the legal borders we had set up, became the ultimate innocent victim we wanted to “sacrifice,” and then forgave us. More than that, he increasingly demonstrated that his promises of an unburdened life in dependence and freedom were, in fact, real and something we can actually live now. It’s all that we do.

My family moved to Chapmantown several years ago. We wanted to freely share what we have with our friends, our neighbors, including those who live on the streets. So now we garden. We make meals. This summer we traveled. I even went surfing with my buddy. But we’ve also had our share of hurts. Friendships upended. Our possessions stolen. My body threatened with the shaft of a gun. This pattern of freedom and breakage is so much part of the Good News that our individual witness must include it. So with the Apostle Paul, I say: “beloved [sisters and brothers], be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Cor 15:58)

To be continued…

Part of the problem in coming to help those among the margins is that many folks, like myself, venture out from relative abundance and good social standing. So when we “serve” or “minister” in these places (like in the conos of Lima, Peru or among the homeless in Chico, California), we tend to take with us a mistakenly high view of what we can give.  The real gift we have to offer is not the money we can share (and we do need to share our possessions!) or the wisdom we can impart (what would happen if we took time to listen instead?). No, our greatest gift is found in losing ourselves (see Matthew 10:39).

A friend wrote about this theme in a reflection called, “Nobodies”:

I had thought of “losing my life” mostly in the sense of letting go of possessions and advantages and ambitions. But now I began to think that a lot of a “life” is its place in society, a good reputation, the acceptance and cooperation of the people around us who have what we need. Being a somebody among those who are somebodies in our social circle. To lose this means not only losing people’s help and material support, but also being rejected, ignored, unneeded, losing value in the eyes of the people that seem to make up our whole world. It seems to make us valueless as persons. Nobodies.

…So when we are set free [from the approval and opinion of those around us]―usually through the experience of becoming a nobody, losing our place in society so we can find our life in God―we are made more able to relate to people as they are. Simply as human beings like ourselves, loved by God.

In that sense, I’m happy to share a video presentation I put together about our recent trip to Peru: “Blessed are you who are poor”. May we all find true freedom in God’s love.

My first attempt at putting together a workshop about Jesus was actually in Spanish during our last trip to Peru. Now that I’m back and have the summer off, I’m inspired again to give it a go–this time in English.

One 16 year-old youth I’ll call James came into the group home quickly and under special circumstances. He was on probation for small-scale crimes. He came to us addicted and seemed to be in primal survival mode most of the time.

James drew my attention that evening when he and two other male housemates were loudly playing music in the common area shortly before lights out. This was never a good sign for overnight staff and I began mentally preparing myself for a battle over who would turn down the music (him or me). But before I could say something, I heard angry words and raised voices from the living room. James had called another resident [insert a homophobic name]. Then, in response, the would-be target started yelling back, red-faced, almost crying, probably fearful of being bated into a fight. This other youth had a reputation for losing control. So I stepped in and tried to stop the bullying by dispersing the crowd, but no one moved. James continued to poke fun at him and ignored my warnings.

As I walked out of the room, feeling powerless, I heard James repeat his insult another time. My intention was to simply stand up for the bullied one, but I was afraid and tired of being intimidated too. So I blurted out over my shoulder, loud enough for James and the others to hear: “You’re [insert the same homophobic putdown]!”

James seemed shocked that I decided to play his game. Not surprisingly, he took it as an attack and quickly got over the surprise of me being the one who said it. Agitated, he paced back and forth, boasting to the others what he was going to do to me. “I’m gonna fuck him up!” I was smart enough to avoid any more contact with him that night and wished that the other residents would go to bed soon, perhaps making him want to let it go. He eventually did and the next morning I was off-shift.

Feeling conflicted about what I had said and how I handled the situation, I asked my counselor for help. He suggested a plan. I would return to the group home off-shift and ask James to talk with me. I would admit to him that I was wrong and tell him what bothered me in the first place. Then I would offer him a meal at any restaurant of his choice (my treat) to make amends for what I had done.

During our talk, he seemed genuinely moved by my confession. So the following week I picked him up for the meal and, surprisingly, I already felt him forgiving me and me forgiving him without doing much thinking about it. I emphasized that we could go anywhere he wanted, price would not be an issue. Strangely, he chose a local diner to share our meal. A decent place, but not exactly where I would have gone had someone offered me a freebie. His boyish excitement about all this and the modest restaurant he chose rather easily ripped apart my expectations and started creating a pain in my heart.

All of a sudden we had moved from being former enemies to friends. I’d say we both felt courageous at that point, though I’m not sure either one of us could have claimed that title as our own. We just had the need for strength, because being vulnerable and weak kind of sucks. Then a stunning curiosity surfaced between us that made it difficult to tell who had moved first or initiated this plan for our reconciliation. All I can say is that I’m grateful.

I’m not sure what happened to James after leaving the group home, but his response that day still amazes me. To think, we only had to give up our fear and unkindness to get a new start and a boost of courage!

*Note: this story was originally published in The Chico Viewspaper.

1/11/14

I’m having a great time in Huancayo so far. Its friggin’ cold, though. I didn’t bring me a sweater. Thankfully, the pastor here lent me his.‬

‪1/12/14‬

‪I just now got back to my room. I’ve been gone all day (it’s 11pm here). I had a good day, though. I’m very excited for you to meet these new friends. Juan Jose is from Lima (Los Olivos), but has lived in Buenos Aires for the last 24 years. His wife is Argentina and his kids have been raised there.

I’m a little nervous about tomorrow because I think very few will “get it”, but it’s too late to change my message even if I thought that was the right thing to do (which I don’t). I spoke tonight to the youth group about Matthew 25, how Jesus identifies himself with his disciples and promises them protection through the generosity and mercy of others who don’t even realize that they’ve done anything special. I told them that God gives grace in the same way and that they should be on the look out for “hermanos” that have needs because they will encounter Jesus there. Afterwards, a young man introduced himself to me and told me that he had just recently come to Huancayo as well. He was abandoned by his parents at a young age and has been living on his own in Lima since around 13. He told me he came to Huancayo to find his parents and reunite with them. He told me that the message I preached spoke to him in some way. I’m hoping he comes back tomorrow.  ‬

‪Pray that I don’t get sick. Right before we got here I ate a bowl of soup with the pastor and his family in a small restaurant. It was going to be very awkward to say no, even though I’m pretty sure the food had been sitting out for a long time. Now I’m hoping my stomach gets some protection from God too. ‬

‪We definitely have to come back here at some point, all of us, to see the beauty and all the culture they have here. It’s very much worth the travel. ‬

‪Say hi to the kids and give them a big hug and kiss for me. I love you and miss you a ton!!!‬

‪‪1/15/14‬‬
‪‪

‪‪I facilitated a 3-hour workshop on Jesus’ way of building community: “in weakness” (poverty, small numbers, vulnerability to persecution, nonviolence, etc.) and yet with power in the gift of the Holy Spirit (love for enemies, generosity, abundance, signs and wonders, prophetic critique, prophetic energizing, etc.). I think the overall piece went a lot better than I expected, though I had some insecurities about a few parts toward the end.‪ Anyway, like I said, I’m anxious to write more about it but that will have to wait.‬

Here’s a post from my friend Paul. I translated it into Spanish and then used it when I preached at La Viña de Laderas yesterday:

Un amigo de nosotros está postulando para ingresar en el seminario y tenía que escribir un ensayo sobre “La Iglesia.” Ha escrito sobre algunos temas y desafíos muy comunes que enfrentan las iglesias de hoy: la disminuición de membresía, ¿cómo ser relevantes en el mundo?, cuestiones de sobrevivir. Y estoy seguro de que estos son los problemas que el seminario quiere resolver.

Pero creo que estas preguntas realmente son las preocupaciones de instituciones humanas (sean iglesias o no) y tienen muy poco que ver con “la Iglesia.” En cambio las imágenes en la Biblia que son más orgánicas, por ejemplo “el cuerpo de Cristo” o “Yo soy la vid, vosotros los pámpanos,” señalan algo bastante diferente. Si estas imágenes son correctas, entonces la vida y naturaleza de la iglesia no están decididos atravéz de nosotros, sino de Cristo. No es nosotros, nuestras elecciones o acciones o reglas, que hace la iglesia lo que es. Es Jesús. La iglesia es la manifestación colectiva y comunitaria de Jesús en el mundo. Si Jesús no está en ella, no es la iglesia. Si no tiene la misma manera de Jesús, obediciendo a él como cabeza, haciendo su obra, amando con su amor, entonces no es la iglesia. Realmente no es un asunto que nosostros decidimos o hacemos suceder. No es un asunto, ni desafío, ni cuestión que nosotros solucionamos. La iglesia es, y no puede ser ningún otra cosa, Cristo.

Obviamente, con eso ya resolvemos la cuestión de “sobrevivir” también. Nuestras instituciones pueden morir (todas lo harán al final, cada uno de ellas). Pero Cristo no morirá. Al menos, la resurreción demuestra eso. Así que nosotros no tenemos que preocuparnos que la iglesia no permanecerá. No es un asunto que tenemos que tratar de solucionar; si estamos luchando por permanecer, queda muy claro que nuestra lucha no es por la iglesia.

La iglesia vive porque Cristo vive. La iglesia es compasivo y valiente y santo porque estos son los atributos de Cristo. Esos no dependen de nosotros. Lo que depende de nosostros se trata de eligir ser parte de su iglesia o no. Si aceptarémos la invitación y el abrazo de Jesús o no. Si nos dejarémos estar dirigida y inspirada y movida por Jesus o no. La dirección y naturaleza y membresía de la iglesia no están en nuestras manos. Solamente podemos aceptar la iglesia que Jesús nos ofrece, o rechazarlo. Y no es suficiente tomar la decisión una vez, sino en todos momentos para siempre.

Here in Lima we are enjoying and adjusting to my beautiful (sometimes not so beautiful) Peruvian culture. At times I can’t believe how different things can be from the way we live in Chico. Adjusting with our two kids can make those differences seem sharper. For example, this morning Gabriela had been awake for about 45 minutes (with no breakfast yet) and she comes running to our room with a bag of M&M’s that her uncle gave to her and her cousin. Jason and I looked at each other and laughed. Then we asked my sister and brother-in-law to hold off on the candy until they ate some real food.

We have been spending a lot of time with my extended part of the family as well. My grandma on my dad’s side is 97 years old. For the first time she didn’t recognize me immediately. She has Alzheimer’s, but other than that she is pretty healthy and does everything by herself. It amazes me how strong she is. My other grandma is also very active and physically strong. She is so hospitable and always asks about our life in the U.S.

This grandma lives in a big corner house on a busy street next to a park. We see neighbors, dogs, kids, bicycles, slow moving cars passing by her house all day. It’s pretty much a communal building, with three generations of family members living within two flats and a bakery storefront run by an aunt on the first level. That is our favorite place to hang out. We sit outside in the bakery’s seating area or just lounge around inside talking, eating, laughing most of the day. And I mean it when I say laughing! Life here is so simple, I think. People don’t seem to be worried about the next day’s chores or responsibilities.

When we leave the neighborhood, things can get pretty interesting as well. Sixteen of us took a trip last week to a place called Casa de Papa Noé (Santa’s House) which is a very Americanized/commercialized version of Christmas fun. But everyone wanted to go and everyone was able to pay for it. Just getting in was like a zoo because of how many people were there. I am not kidding, we had to walk around holding our kids tight because there were hundreds of people herding through the lines and booths. It reminded me of standing in line for a ride at Disneyland, lol. If I had known what we were getting ourselves into beforehand, I probably wouldn’t have gone. My kids were great sports about it all, though, and without any treats or kid-stuff to get through the lines. All we had was each other–cousins, aunts, uncles–to entertain each other. And guess what? We all had so much fun.

Another thing we are getting used to is the time it takes to get ready to go anywhere in Lima. I am realizing more and more that we CANNOT do more than one activity per day. We are definitely not in Chico!! To leave the house, it takes about two to three hours of getting ready. I am not kidding, especially when 16 of us are leaving together. Then it takes about an hour and a half to get from one place to another each way.  And guess what? This afternoon we are doing it again!! I’m so happy we’re doing it, though. The whole process is an adventure and there is always laughter in the midst of the chaos.

And last but not least, we have our own personalized alarm clock each morning at 7:45am. There is a guy that sells tamales on the street. He yells out: “Tamales!! Tamales!! Tamales!! Ricos tamales!!” lol. He’s got some lungs, let me tell you. We love him. 🙂

Friends, I’m writing to tell you the story about how we ended up going to Peru after all and about the new stuff coming with my work. Julissa and I have been  planning our trip for almost a year. We wanted to visit family and serve with some churches there. After waiting and waiting and waiting, we thought it wouldn’t be possible for us to go, mostly due to finances, but then something(s) really encouraging/miraculous began to happen. And it seemed possible all over again. For one, the plane tickets went down to a ridiculously low price ($299, round-trip, from  SF to Lima). Plus, though we had to make last minute arrangements and  shorten our stay, we were still able to participate in the ministries we  had planned to serve alongside. We arrived in Lima December 31st, 2013 and will return home February 5th, 2014.

In the midst of all this uncertainty about going to Peru, Julissa and I have been discerning a new direction with my work, preferably toward the free counseling/spiritual accompaniment ministry I’ve dreamt about for a long  time. Long story short, when we return from Peru, I’ll focus my time on working with the poor in that way. And I won’t be coming back to my current job. Our decision to leave was made a little easier because, after all was said and done, the management sort of changed their mind on letting me have the time off to go to Peru. Julissa and I had already been talking about me resigning if that happened. So, in the end, that’s what I did.

When we return, the plan is to start doing the free community-based counseling ministry more and more, while exploring my MFT licensure. I will also be looking into finding another job to cover our household expenses. I’ll be communicating more in the near future about the ministry itself and how we plan to develop it during my time off. We have some money from our tax return next year to help cover our expenses for a few months. In the end, we’re hoping to see deeper faith grow in us as I leave a paid job and embrace our economic weakness in the spirit of Jesus’ love: “you received without paying; give without pay.” (Matthew 10:8b)

Anyway, that’s the plan and a little of the back-story behind us going to Peru. It was very interesting how it all came about. The best part for me, looking back, is that Julissa and I were more united in the whole decision-making process. Not without minor disagreements and some arguments, too, but our friendship seems to have grown from making these choices together. And our intention to give more freely out of what we’ve been given seems to win over much of the hardness and unwillingness to listen that might have possessed us in the past. Our prayer has recently been for God to help us recognize where true oneness in love comes from. And now we see Him creating union within us and with each other. Thanks be to God.

Blessings on your journey and we’ll keep in touch while in Peru.

Peace,

Jason & Julissa